Thanks so much for articulating this so well Marta! It's something I've been thinking about myself for some time (I even wrote about it in a much earlier post when trying to talk about play as a tool for improving our confidence; quoted below). I love the distinction you're making here about relationships serving as the means through which we can welcomes all parts of ourselves. Would love to hear how your thoughts on this evolve and refine.
For myself, I've noticed much more comfortably in weaving together different relationships, even small things like talking on the phone to people in earshot of others (which I used to struggle to do, and now realise it was because I was different people to different people and didn't know how to integrate them). Such a fun lens to play with.
"In the improv and acting environments, we are given full permission to be all of us. We’re encouraged to try on different versions of ourselves and play with different aspects of our voices, bodies and perspectives. There is no pressure to perform, reach a goal or achieve a metric. We’re not expected to ‘be’ a certain way. We can fully inhabit our whole selves. In IFS, it’s suggested that we are all made up of parts. Could it be that in the contexts where imposter syndrome creeps in, we feel unworthy, not good enough, [fill in the blank] because we tie so much of our worth to the performance of one part of ourselves and forget to nurture our whole being, in all its facets, richness and complexity?
Many of the environments we operate in as adults require a certain ‘part’ of ourselves to show up. And for many, these environments become limited and limiting. The opportunity for us to habit and embody other parts or aspects of ourselves becomes narrower and more limited as we grow older and we engage less in activities that fulfil us and opt for what’s familiar and comfortable. How often do we do something for the sake of doing it? How often do we pick up a new hobby, skill or activity? How often do we share the parts of us ourselves reserved for those closest to us with our colleagues or clients instead? Could embodying our full-human selves create the conditions for a firm self-confidence to spill over into all areas of our lives?"
Thanks so much for articulating this so well Marta! It's something I've been thinking about myself for some time (I even wrote about it in a much earlier post when trying to talk about play as a tool for improving our confidence; quoted below). I love the distinction you're making here about relationships serving as the means through which we can welcomes all parts of ourselves. Would love to hear how your thoughts on this evolve and refine.
For myself, I've noticed much more comfortably in weaving together different relationships, even small things like talking on the phone to people in earshot of others (which I used to struggle to do, and now realise it was because I was different people to different people and didn't know how to integrate them). Such a fun lens to play with.
"In the improv and acting environments, we are given full permission to be all of us. We’re encouraged to try on different versions of ourselves and play with different aspects of our voices, bodies and perspectives. There is no pressure to perform, reach a goal or achieve a metric. We’re not expected to ‘be’ a certain way. We can fully inhabit our whole selves. In IFS, it’s suggested that we are all made up of parts. Could it be that in the contexts where imposter syndrome creeps in, we feel unworthy, not good enough, [fill in the blank] because we tie so much of our worth to the performance of one part of ourselves and forget to nurture our whole being, in all its facets, richness and complexity?
Many of the environments we operate in as adults require a certain ‘part’ of ourselves to show up. And for many, these environments become limited and limiting. The opportunity for us to habit and embody other parts or aspects of ourselves becomes narrower and more limited as we grow older and we engage less in activities that fulfil us and opt for what’s familiar and comfortable. How often do we do something for the sake of doing it? How often do we pick up a new hobby, skill or activity? How often do we share the parts of us ourselves reserved for those closest to us with our colleagues or clients instead? Could embodying our full-human selves create the conditions for a firm self-confidence to spill over into all areas of our lives?"